Love Comes Softly

Today I watched a video on youtube. It was called Love Comes Softly. And although it was a very touching movie, I got one thing out of it.

"the truth about God's love, is not that He allows bad things to happen; it's His promise to be there with us when they do."

bad things are going to happen and we need to realize that when they happen we are not alone. This is something I struggle with even today. But looking back on all the storms I have passed through or gotten stuck in, I begin to realize that God never left me and He never will. His love for me is never ending.

"Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God." Isaiah 69:1-3

As I heard this verse from a dear friend of mine, I realized that this is the cry of many of us. We call out for the Lord with parched throats hoping that He will hear our cries. Many times he hears our cries but refuses to answer them they way we want. This is a hard concept for me. When I was a little girl I always thought that God would answer my prayers exactly as I asked Him to. Of course I knew that the whole asking for a million dollars thing would not work, but I thought that no matter what happened in my life, God would answer it the way I wanted Him to. This idea went down the hole when one of my prayers were not answered the way I wanted God to answer it.

So in saying that, just remember that God will answer our prayers, but it will be in His time and in His way. Don't hate Him for doing it differently but rather thank Him for everything He has done for you and continues to do for you.

The Journey

Everyone has a story. And each story is about a journey. Where will they go on their journey? Who will they encounter? These questions can only be answered by one thing, time.

As I look back on the journey I have traveled thus far, I wonder what went wrong? It started out as the perfect journey and then took a turn for the worst. When did I take the wrong turn?

I look back at the paths that I have chosen and realize that some parts of my journey were forced upon me. When we walk down our roads, we come across people. And those people, no matter how much we love them, will drag us down a path we do not want to go down.

Those paths will bring us pain and sorrow. They will bring us a pain that we never wanted to see or discover. I have to stop and realize that it was not by my actions and my choices that I walk down this road. Like many others before me I am drug down the paths of darkness. Fear begins to overcome my body as I am dropped in the middle of a road that is full of darkness and pain. I try to find my way back but only get more lost. I cry for help but no one cam hear my voice. I begin to wonder if there is anyone out there who can help me.

As I lay in the middle of a dark road, I hear voices, faint but kind. I call out with everything I've got, calling for someone to find me. As the voices grow closer, I begin to notice they are friends. Dear friends who are walking down a road I envy.

They notice me lying on the ground and run over to my aid. I am broken and in tears. They help me stand and encourage me to walk. Like a baby learning to walk I begin to stumble and my friends are there to catch me. They teach me how to walk again and then tell me to keep going on this journey.

They say that there is hope for a better road even if I do not see one. I thank them for their hospitality as they run to the aid of another fallen walker. Then I am alone. I push on like they say but feel like there is no way out. I search frantically for another road but each time miss the turn. The road blocks on this road seem unbarable and I begin to doubt and begin to lose hope.

I hear the voices of those who have helped me along telling me not to let go of hope. I try not to let go but begin to realize that it will be hard. The thorns from the rough road begin to scrape at my soul. Tearing it apart piece by piece. Leaving scars behind. Some of the scars are reopened by these thorns that brush by me. My blood trails behind me leaving memories of what was and still could be to come.

As I continue down my path, I begin to see another path way. I decide to talk this one in hope that it will lead me off the path of pain. I travel quickly onto the next path and notice I am out of the woods. I fall to the ground in relief. I look up only to notice more obstacles. The path may not be dark but it still held amny obstacles to be overcome.

A little ways down the road I notice a man. Standing in the middle of my path. He looks kind and gentle and yet He still has a sense for greatness to Him. He begins to walk over to my side as I lay on the ground bloodied and scared. He tells me to trust Him but I am scared. What is He going to do? I try to get up on my own but am unable to do so. He wispers in my ear to let Him help and in the end I give in.

I nod my head as He lifts me into His arms. He protects me from some of the obstacles we encounter as He carries me down the path. I ask Him of His name and He tells me He has many names. I ask Him what I can call Him and He responds to me with "Friend."

The pain from the wounds and scars begin to become unbarable. My Friend stops in the middle of the road and begins to work on my wounds one little bit at a time. I ask Him what He wants in Return and His reply is for me to follow Him and believe in Him. I agree to the terms and He heals me more.

When the pain becomes barable He tells me to stand and walk again. I do as He says and hold onto His hand. We walk together and I begin to discover more about my Friend. As we walk down my path He stops and points to another fallen soul. He tells me to go and help them. He also tells me to make sure I tell them about my new Friend.

I do as He says and help out a fallen soul. I explain to them about the wonderful new friend I have found and they ask me to tell them His name and who He is. I tell them all I know and they ask Him to be their Friend.

After they can walk again, I return to my path. My Friend is there waiting for me. I ask Him where we are going and He tells me that the road ahead is unkown but the destination is great. I ask Him what the destination is and He tells me of a place that holds happiness. He explains that there is no pain a dn sadness in this destination. He also tells me of a house made just for me. That waits for me there.

I ask Him how to get to this place and He says that the only way to get there is through Him. He tells me that when I asked Him to be my friend I was given the ticket to get into this place. After answering all my questions, He heads off my path. I begg Him not to leave. He tells me that He never left my side and He will never leave my side.

I feel His presence as I continue down my path. And as I go through all the obstacles I encounter, I realize that He is there evey step of the way holding onto my hand.

And as I continue down this road witnessing to others and dealing with the obstacles, I can rest assure that He is always with me until the ends of time.

Only Time Can Tell

I stand and look in the mirror at this face I don't know. Who is she? Why am I looking at her? I start to question her. Does she know what she is getting herself into? Why doesn't she see the pain in her future? Sometimes I want to go up to this girl I see and smack her in the face. Why continue on if you don't know who you are or why you were put here? Why live with the pain and anguish if it is only going to lead to one thing, death?

Behind her smile all I see is pain and sadness. She is crying out for help and no one can help her, except for one person. She realizes who that one person is and fears Him. She knows deep inside that before it can get better, it has to get worse. She has tried once before to give it all to Him, but halfway through the healing process she begins to get scared and backs out. After backing out, she realizes that if she ever wants to get through all of the scars, she will have to go through the entire process of healing. She cannot just skip through one little part. She has to do it all.

Every day she lives is a day she builds onto her walls. Each day she goes on without begining the healing process is a brick built onto her wall that will eventually have to be torn down during the healing process. She fears that day. She knows it will come with great pain. Can she trust this long lost friend of hers to heal her soul?

Only Time Can Tell

Obama the anti christ?

I have been hearing a lot of issues about Obama being the anti christ. Is this true? I am unsure. a lot of people ahve made some convincing arguments towards him being the anti christ but i am not entirely convinced.

on snopes.com a blog was posted about what the bible says on the situation. It reads: "According to the book of Revelations, the antichrist is: the antichrist will be a man in his forties, of muslim decent, who will decieve the nations with his persuasive language, and have a massive christ-like appeal... the prophacy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything. Is it Obama?"

After reading this i was shocked! how could all this be true and fit in. So i went and looked in the bible to discover if this was actually true. My findings discovered that NO WHERE in the bible does it say this. SO i am stumped. there is a possibility that he could be the antichrist but untill i get more information, i can not make a decision.

The Future

So i was thinking the other day about whether or not i should find some way to stay at CCU or to go the cheaper route and get my general education done at a community college. And after going to the student workshops and listeneing to them talk about decisions i went home and thought about the pros and cons to leaving CCU. And after asking God what He thinks and going over the pros and cons, I have decidied to go to the community college. Not just because of money, but because I feel like the only way to spread the word to others about God's love is to go out into the world where there are no believers. It will be hard, but I will be doing what God wants me to do.

Bible Verses and Reflections

"Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

I love this verse because whenever I feel unsafe or worried I just say this verse over and over to myself and it is like a weight is being lifted off of me. Thinking about this verse amkes me want to sing about God's amazing grace and how he will shelter us if we only ask. God is amazing and I am so lucky that He wants me to be His daughter. Sometimes I dont understand why He would want me to be His daughter, but I read the word and He tells me that He loves me and will never abandon me.

Life Questions

To live. What does it truely mean? If we just sit like rocks in a stream not wanting to budge, is that life? Or is life the stream that flows constantly, never being the same? If someone is breathing but not enjoying the world, are they living? what does it mean to live life to the fullest? These are all questions I have been asking myself. But i stop to wonder if this question will ever be answered. Or is it best to be left a mystery? I can't say what i believe yet,but in the end I know that it will all be worth it. To live eternally with my Father in heaven; to never be sad or in pain again. I long for this future that has been put in front of me. I ask my Father when He will come back to take me home. And though I don't get a specific answer, I can rest assure that He will come for me soon.

New Job

So I am currently working for the Family Christian Stores and I hate it. It's not that I don't like working with people, but I am not getting along with some of the poeple there. But... I just found out that Old Navy called and they want to set up an interview. I really hope this will work out. It would be best if I switched jobs.

Poem Number 2

The Road I Walk Upon
Every time I walk this road,
I know it comes with fear.
Anger, sadness, hurt, and pain,
and the loss of all that's dear.

I pray to God for strength and hope,
and to make another day.
Knowing that the future's rough,
there's got to be a way.

Pushing through my pain and past,
I long to just forget.
I hear the screams, and vial words,
I try not to get upset.

And every day I ask myself,
if you truly love me.
I hope and wait, and wait and hope,
to see if I should flee.

People say that words don't hurt,
but they are truly painful.
I try to cope with all you give,
but you are just disdainful.

I try to love you every day,
and love is all I want.
You hide your love which hurts me most,
when our relationship is detent.

All I can do is hope and pray,
that you will come around.
I do not want this pain inside,
that always cuts me down.

Poem Number 1

The Words I Wept

Talks in class make me fear
Of what will come here after.
No one ever understands
Instead they all bring laughter.

Their laughter hurts
And cuts down deep.
For they don't see
That inside I weep.

I try my best to speak my mind
But nothing comes out right.
I go home saddened, hurt, and scared
That I am not as bright.

My siblings seem to go through life
Without a single care.
No one ever understands,
To me it's just unfair.

And every time the teacher says
that I need to come and speak
the dread comes up, fear falls down,
and then I feel weak.

How can I speak of what I think
When my words are not the same.
My words are wrong, the fear comes back,
and all I feel is shame.

Will I ever want this gift?
I hope I can accept.
It'll be the gift I love
And the last I've ever wept.